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Why Cry?

This seemed like a heartfelt cry and I wondered. I couldn’t make out what the problem was so I asked. Why are you crying?  No response. What’s wrong? No response. Did you fall down? ‘No Mummy’… she replied through the tears that streamed down her face. So why are you crying? And she cried even more.

Patience… good enough, this virtue wasn’t far at that time so I waited for her to calm down. Then I asked again, and through the interruption of heaves and sniffs, she told me what the problem was. She had so much homework to do and she was already so tired, she feared she wouldn’t finish on time to go to bed early enough to enable her wake up bright and early to prepare for school the next day.

My first reaction was pity; pity for my dear child who felt overwhelmed. Next came anger at the educational system these days in this part of the world where children and laden with so much homework that they don’t even have the time to play, relax, have fun, and explore. It almost feels they’re being robbed of their childhood. Why do they need to do so much work and be this serious so early in life? I don’t remember this much work in my days…

Then I turned my attention to my cutie and began to question her. How have we done homework in the past? Together. Who helped you? You, Mummy.Did I disappear or go missing? No Mummy. Did I tell you at any point that you’re now on your own and I’m not going to help you anymore? No Mummy. So how could you cry this much as if all hope is lost and there’s no way out of this situation? The conversation went on and I reassured her. A few minutes later, tears wiped and hope restored, we took down piece by piece every single one of those tasks that seemed like insurmountable odds to her.

I didn’t have to think hard about it. I could almost hear God saying loud and clear – Isn’t that just how you humans are? You experience my power, my grace, my help, my miracles in your lives as I walk with you on life’s journey and then one day you completely forget that I am more than ABLE and that I am always with you and you cry and mourn in the face of adversity? How are you so quick to forget how I brought you out the last time, how I healed you, how I made a way for you, how I delivered you, comforted you, and so much more? Since when did crying become the solution?

So I took it to heart and by His grace I will respond appropriately when next I face a mountain. I hope you’ll do the same. If you’re facing any right now, no better time to take it to the LORD in prayer than now. Just pray. Jesus gave us an open invitation in Matthew 11:28. He said ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest’. He meant it. So call.

Wife Finding Skills

‘In the multitude of counsellors, there is safety’. It is wise to learn from people who have travelled the road ahead of you. You can incorporate best practices they share into your own life and avoid the pitfalls they bring to your notice. A patron of the Chapel Choir in school shared one of such tips with us during a rehearsal. He was engaged to be married at that time and told us he started praying about his wife several years before. He sounded like the whole process was easier as a result so I decided to do the same.

I prayed about everything I could think of – from my future husband’s exams, to gaining admission into the university, to having healthy relationships, giving his life to Christ, and I remember asking God to help him not to make mistakes that would leave permanent scars capable of negatively impacting our life together.

Then one day I read in the Bible that ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing…’ So I started asking God to give him all the ‘wife finding skills’ he needed so he could find me with ease. I was in the choir, I attended fellowship regularly and I studied engineering so I had a lot of guys around me. I made good friends and my mother told me one day that my husband would likely come from my group of friends. Sometime into my good friendships, it was clear that I enjoyed spending time with some more than others, so I subjected each of my preferred friends to my ‘love glasses’ test. That helped me narrow down my options.

After my first degree, I met another interesting person… He was fun to be with but I didn’t know him well enough. Some old family friend also showed up and was acting like he had clear intentions to marry me but didn’t quite say anything – time wasters. But he didn’t succeed in wasting my time. I tactfully interviewed him one evening and found out his intentions didn’t match his actions at all. I prayed for clarity and I remember asking God to keep all the wrong people from asking me out, just to eliminate confusion.

Those prayers paid off. Over the years, my desires became so refined and so clear. I knew exactly what I was looking for, like the specifications of a good car. I was also able to observe so many of those qualities in one particular friend of mine. Initially, I would pray, ‘God I want a man who is this and that, and looks like this or that…’ but one day, it became so clear, I said ‘God, I want Kingsley!’ and I told God why.

Time passed and we became even better friends and then one day, Kingsley asked me out. He thought I would ask him for two weeks or two months to pray about it as was often heard in our circles but I totally shocked him by saying ‘YES’ right there. I had been praying for years… I already knew the answer and was just waiting patiently for him to man up and take our relationship to the next level.

The rest, as they say, is history. It’s been eight years now and I’ve come to realize that prayer doesn’t just come in handy in finding the love of your life, you need it for your life as a whole. So we still pray and I’m ever so glad because God still hears and answers when we call.


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