Aniete Bature presents ‘Husband Material
A book titled Husband Material, A practical guide to finding True love written by Aniete Bature was launched at the Oriental Hotel, Lekki Lagos.
The book also came with a handbook crafted to answer questions and assess the state of the reader in preparation for married life as well as preservation of the marriage institution.
The review of the book was handled by Uche Ehunne and he gives a detailed overview of the content, style of writing as well as aesthetics which he scored very high.
The event also had a fireside chat anchored by Faith Swena who engaged the author on the focus, message, and more. Family, friends and other well-wishers including Pastor Jude Nwoko, resident pastor of the Freedom House Church took turns talking about the author and the importance of the marriage institution.
Anietie Bature is a certified marriage mentor and relationship coach, who is passionate about helping people lay solid foundations so that they can build healthy and fulfilling marriages. Her childhood experience left her with a desire to get married right and plunged her into much learning on the matter. From this wealth of knowledge and lessons from her own adventure, she speaks.
“I went to work near my hometown in Akwa Ibom state. In that community, I met a lot of young people and in that Season I was more of a mentor to them. I found out that a lot of them really struggled when it came to relationships. They had good intentions, they had good dreams, they had hopes that they would get married someday.”
YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS IN MARRIAGE IF YOUR ENTRY WILL MESS UP THE INSTITUTION DECLARES BATURE AS SHE LAUNCHES BOOK IN LAGOS
Engineering guru, counselor, motivational speaker and prolific writer, Anietie Bature, recently, at the Prestigious Oriental Hotel, Lekki, Lagos, told the world, that those whose involvement in marriage, will desecrate the hallowed realm, have no need getting married.
Anietie who made this powerful declaration while highlighting the essentials of her book, Husband Material, emphasised that the phenomenon marriage entails so much before it can be celebrated as successful; stressing that it is a suicidal mission to just drive headlong into marriage without proper preparation/cautious steps by the woman who will bear the subsequent realities in the marriage.
Analysing her book, Anietie expressed that all the aspects of the book are laden with messages that will serve as guides for the unmarried, about-to-marry, even the married, adding that it also contains real life stories that treat raw family or marriage experiences that will remain guiding models to the intending.
Pastors from This Present House Church were on ground to present and interpret phases of the great book.
Media organisations, such as The Nation, The Punch and Silverbird also covered the book launch.
Kingsley Bature, husband of the author lauded his wife for the discipline, dedication and creativity that she committed to the book project, describing his wife as a jewel of inestimable value whose worth keeps rising with the passage of time.
PERSONAGE: ANIETIE BATURE
Anietie Bature is a certified marriage mentor and relationship coach, who is passionate about helping people lay solid foundations so that they can build healthy and fulfilling marriages. Her childhood experience left her with a desire to get marriage right and plunged her into much learning on the matter. From this wealth of knowledge and lessons from her own adventure, she speaks.
Along with her husband, she hosts the ‘Common Sense for Relationships’ talk show and runs a YouTube channel, where she empowers people with valuable information to help them make better decisions in their relationships.
She is also a song writer, a performing artist, a conference speaker, and a professional in the energy industry.
She is married to Kingsley Bature, and they are blessed with three children.
Follow her on Youtube, FB, TT, IG as @anietiebature, reach out by email to email@example.com if you have feedback, and get updated at www.anietie.com.
Cleric, author link societal problems to families
The Pastor of This Present House, Lagos, Jude Nwoko, has stressed the importance of family in nation-building.
Nwoko, at the unveiling of the book, titled, ‘Husband Material,’ in Lagos on Thursday, said the failure in society could be traced to the families.
“When things are broken, the final product is not what is intended; it takes two to build a complete human. That is why one person cannot get pregnant by themselves, not for animals, plants or humans, hence, there is the need for collaborative efforts.
“When two of these individuals come together, they form a union we called the family. From there, it is supposed to be a subset of the broader society. The failure we see in society, people not having integrity, people not being diligent at work, these are values they would have picked up from home. It becomes very important that young people have the right metrics for choosing life partners,” Nwoko said.
Corroborating him, the author of the book, Mrs Anietie Bature, said a solid family would make the country a better place for everyone.
She said, “If you look at society now, you will see the divorce rates are so high and you hear people say things like ‘marriage is overrated.’ The fact is that, even though a lot of people make noise about divorce and the challenges people are experiencing in marriage, there are those who are enjoying their marriages. What did they do? How did they get it right?
“I have interacted with a lot of young people, both as an individual and from the opportunity we’ve had to serve as premarital counsellors; the need became more evident that something needs to be in place to help people. I felt there was the need to give people a framework or guidelines they can work with to figure out their own journey.”
Publication from: The Punch News paper
Still Trending: My Whole Life – Anietie Bature (Album)
News: Nigerian Gospirational music favorite, Anietie Bature, delivers another prolific album titled “My Whole Life“.
Nigerian Gospirational music favorite, Anietie Bature, delivers another prolific album titled “My Whole Life“. Her first album, REVEALED by ANIETIE, and the singles that followed left quite an impression on listeners. This album of 10 songs is one to experience, to love, and to share.
Get ecstatic with HOW MAJESTIC, let the groove of FIND YOU thrill you, go deep in worship with TODAY, and let MY WHOLE LIFE take you high in surrender.
The diversity of genres is no surprise as Anietie continues to wow with her versatility. Feel the beat, experience the groove, immerse yourself in this flavor, and let the music usher you to streams of refreshing.
Stream, share and download
No Man is an Island
Authentic Support System
So the day finally came. September 20, 2020. We didn’t know this would be the date but we knew that someday soon my sister and her family would leave for their home country. It would be great for them, but we knew we would miss them a lot. It’s a blessing when cousins are like siblings and their home becomes your second home. To have someone in the other family who makes my little Micah act like a responsible adult, and another who makes Anna feel she has not just a sister, but a twin – you have to be grateful. I’ve come to realize that with what I describe as an authentic support system, life is easier.
How to build your support system
Some people are able to accomplish so much more in life and people wonder how they do it. The fact is that no man is an island. We need the right people in our lives to help us progress. Sometimes you are blessed with such people as they are members of your family. Other times you have to nurture a mutually beneficial relationship with non-family members, and over time, build trust and assurance for interdependence. However they come, be grateful for the support systems you have in your life.
I can’t place a value on the peace of mind I have when I’m away for work or a timeout with my husband, and my kids are in their second home. What about the extra pair of eyes to help you see and address issues that were in your blind spot? How will I express the relief that comes from genuine conversation… no forming?
My consolation is that there are platforms to sustain communication and relationships across continents. Thank God for Zoom, WhatsApp, and Facetime.
Aunty Patty always came up with cool stuff for all of us to do – visit Lekki Conservation, Lufasi Nature Park, go window shopping with the kids, and so on. She was never afraid to watch over her kids and mine. You can’t imagine the noise and the energy in one place. God bless you, Aunty Patty.
The Akpan family are truly priceless.
Celebrating those in my support system
So, dear reader, let me tell you here. I write, I vlog, I sing, I mentor, I market, I build teams, I ‘wife’, and I ‘mother’. In truth, there’s absolutely no way I could do all these without support systems. I’ll name a few – my sister and her family, my mother, my mother-in-law, my husband’s cousin, my reliable support staff over the years, and much more.
Mercy, now Mrs. Friday, followed us from Lagos to Eket, and provided cover while I was busy with work. She has a big heart. We call her MemeToms! Micah was her little groom.
Onyinyechi has been with me since Nathan was a few days old. She’s solid, like a rock! super reliable and dependable. She’s a master at implementing the script just as you prescribe. Sharp lady.
Happiness brought her own flavor to the party. She’s bubbly and full of life. In a more enabling environment, she would make for a natural investigative journalist.
I can’t forget Mary and Vivian.
The GRANDMAS!!! Pillars of strength all the time.
Grandma Dorcas would stay for three months to nurture the babies and leave a week or two after my maternity leave ends. She would train my support staff, then handover the controls to them and make sure the home was running seamlessly before she took off. What a blessing.
Grandma Stella just makes sure I don’t have to worry about anything when she’s around. She fills the freezer with delicious soups and stews, and makes sure things are in order. She delights in getting all the supplies we need for the home at rock bottom prices so I don’t have to go to the market. She’s just amazing.
When we have to be away, a phone call is enough to bring them to watch the kids. Words of wisdom flow freely from our mothers. Thank you so much, Mumsy and Mamay.
Uncle John, as the kids call him.
If you need something done, just tell him. School runs, shopping for the right gifts, some heavy lifting, and other runs that the men in the family typically handle.
Media man. You should have seen how quickly he went from novice to professional in video editing. Now he handles all my lyrics videos and edits all the production for my YouTube Chanel.
And my husband – Mr. Bature. The other good head. Wise man.
Chief logistics coordinator – I don’t have to worry at all about arrangements for vacation or activities away from the home.
Mr. Make it Happen – The professional at taking dreams and bringing them to life.
The head master / character molder – He’s consistent in training and mentoring the kids, and ensuring they imbibe the right values.
My encourager and friend – He comes to the studio, he reviews my scripts, he helps me see other perspectives, he drives me to events. He supports my career and ministry.
Co-creator and Executive Director of our productions. He’s just wonderful. The guy makes sense.
Make it mutually beneficial
Trust God to send the right people your way, and when he does, please be sure to make it a mutually beneficial relationship.
MY CUTIE HURT HERSELF
On September 10, 2020, Anna unintentionally drove a pencil tip into her finger. She was using a mechanical pencil and had pushed out too much lead. The incident happened when she tried to push the excess back into the holder. I tried to remove it but only succeeded in taking out a tiny portion. I could feel the hard piece but it was lodged in a way that the tweezers couldn’t reach it. We flushed with water, treated with methylated spirit, and took a break.
It hurt every time she put pressure on it, especially when she tried to write. My husband talked about the possibility of an incision at a hospital to get it out. The thought of it made her more afraid and really sad. She had cried a lot already. It’s clear that parents have to tell their kids about the risks associated with this type of pencil and how to use it safely.
Before we went to bed that night, I prayed for her, and asked God to remove the pencil tip from her hand and take all the pain away. I shared with her my experience with appendicitis some years back, the divine surgery that happened in my dream, how I woke up completely healed, and went to Church for thanksgiving instead of going to the hospital for my 6 A.M. surgical appointment. God healed me back then… and I told her God has the best medical team and their tools are amazing. You don’t feel the pain at all.
I asked her to say a prayer too before going to sleep. The next day, she woke up and went about her business. She later rushed into the office pressing that finger with her thumb to show us there was no pain. She was radiant and has been so happy since. It was a big relief for her and for me. I was really concerned and a bit upset that I couldn’t help her completely. You know they always come to you with expectation that you can solve every single problem they have, and most times you can. I’m so glad I could connect her to the source of all help.
Thank God for answered prayers.
WE ARE GRATEFUL!!!
More tales from Anna – Edge of the Frame
How to Conduct a Training Session on WhatsApp
Learning is always fun and this past week, I had an interesting opportunity to do just that as I was invited to mentor a group of about 120 people on WhatsApp. It’s a relationship hub but for some reason they wanted to hear about money, business and investments and they chose me because they saw my thought provoking video with the title – What if you don’t get a job.
Timothy Inyang came up with the idea and did an excellent job bringing it to life. He informed me about the session a few hours before it was to begin so I quickly gathered my thoughts on what to share with them.
I joined the group via the link provided and was made an administrator so that all other participants could be restricted from sending messages while I was speaking or sharing content. The plan was for everyone to be free to comment and ask questions at the end of my pitch. This may work for some people, but as I observed the first teacher and the quietness in the group, I decided I wanted a more interactive session.
The Right Picture
When it was my turn, the facilitator introduced me and shared my picture on the group. This is a good way to let the participants know who they would be listening to and set their expectations accordingly. So don’t take this for granted. Let the introduction clearly highlight your roles, achievements, profile and make sure the picture is on point. Remember, as you dress, so will you be addressed. On WhatsApp, your picture is what people judge.
Find Your Voice
Once the introduction was done, I asked everyone to write out their comments and questions as we went along so I could easily read them. I also opted for a combination of text and voice notes in sharing my content. There’s something about speaking that makes communication more effective and impactful than it is when you write. It allows people to hear your tone, observe your emphasis, and feel your passion and excitement in a way that mere text cannot convey.
In case you have pictures to share, save them in a folder or album that you can easily attach them from. Pictures speak volumes but you must be mindful of your audience; too many voice notes and pictures, and they may run out of data. You could spice things up by announcing upfront a data giveaway to those who engage the most. This could be via questions and comments during the session. Remember to fulfill your promise.
I absolutely enjoyed myself and it’s obvious that I really love empowering others with valuable information. Each opportunity I get to do this is a breath of fresh air.
So to wrap this up, remember:
- Inform the group in advance about the session, ask them to set a reminder on their calendars
- Send the group link to all invitees and speakers
- Introduce the speaker / mentor when it’s time
- The mentor uses text, voice notes, pictures, or short video clips to share
- Participants ask questions and the mentor answers
- Facilitator wraps up
Introductions are not necessary if the facilitator is also the mentor / trainer, is already part of the group, and is well known to everyone.
I hope you’ll enjoy your first WhatsApp training / mentoring session and will leave a comment about some strategies you use for WhatsApp meetings. Please send me pictures on firstname.lastname@example.org I hope you like the pictures from my session.
Let me know if this was helpful. Thank you and take care.
Bugs for Dollars
I must write about this. You’ll see why.
My youngest, Micah, is a very interesting child. He makes us laugh a lot – things he says, his reasoning, and some of his actions. A few days back, I heard him yell at Nathan, so I called them to find out what the problem was. Turns out Micah saw a bug near his online school setup in the parlor and asked Nathan to help him kill it. Nathan refused, maintaining that everyone should face their fears. He had a point. So, I asked Micah to go and kill the bug or avoid it. He didn’t like the verdict, so he started crying.
My husband went down to see what the problem was and resolved it. I wasn’t quite sure how he did it and my attention was elsewhere at that time so I couldn’t find out. Some time later, Micah barged into the office with a glint in his eyes. ‘What’s up?’ I asked. ‘Mummy, I have one hundred naira.’ He said with excitement. ‘How?’ I probed. ‘Daddy said he’ll pay me one hundred naira for every bug I kill, apart from ants.’ I said, ‘Okay, great!’
Over the next two days, he showed up from time to time to say N200, N300, N400 and do a victory dance. We told him we need evidence going forward and he quickly got a broom and a packer to present us with the proof of his last kill. This morning, he made the following declaration – I used to be afraid of bugs but now every time I see them, I see the dollar sign on them. Very funny.
I love the way my husband handled this. He gave Micah a valuable substitute for his fear. And I love how Micah approached it. He changed his perspective from “bugs that I fear” to “dollars running around and climbing walls”.
How do you see the problems that are before you? Can you focus on the value that comes from resolving them? That way while you work through the issues, you’ll celebrate each milestone.